It’s 2am on a Friday morning and I’m sitting here with a beer in hand to write this having been reminded that I ought to write a run report only a couple of hours ago. I struggle to recollect anything that happened last Saturday and honestly having worked 54 hours in just over 3 days at the weekend I have no idea how I even managed to organise a parkrun in my downtime. I’ve looked through the pictures and read the stats but nobody wants to know about that - so here it is, a run report that vaguely reflects the events of Saturday morning!
At 8am our fabulous cows were under the twirly bridge but under encouragement they flapped their wings and flew off down to the "Run Round Me" corner.
The first two suns both came out and shone on us as runners arrived, some by cars and motorbikes, others on horseback and one on a dragon. Fortunately our horseback parkrunner is well insured as due to a slight oversight and our usual car park being closed, while we were out running the dragon that had been left parked next to the horse on Hastoe Lane decided to eat said horse. Lessons have been learnt and considerations for this eventuality have been added to our risk assessment.
A near record 194 parkrunners lined up promptly at 9am and were quickly fired off by the handsome prince run director, up the 3 mile climb of Tring parkrun up past the cloud base and back down again past the cows that had landed near the round me corner. They were expertly marshalled into their ground formation by our specialist cow wranglers, from time to time they fluttered their wings as if they might take flight to a new part of the course but our marshals had them tightly corralled by that point.
As the first runner came striding down towards the finish line our third sun had risen and the temperature was rising however this didn’t stop Chris Booth setting the magical double on the stroke of the time keepers wand managing both a PB and his first time in 25 attempts at finishing first at Tring. Some dozen places (and 1:50) later Sally Nash crossed the line to be crowned this week’s first lady.
Golden girls Maura Patterson and Lynda Hembury achieved their milestone 250 KMs of parkrun and to celebrate brought with them fine platters of enchanted cake so exquisite that it’s spell made it impossible not to return for more until all the cake was gone. Young Charlie Summerston achieved his 50th KM as a junior runner too and will receive a T-shirt with magical powers that will enable him to create envy amongst other junior runners whenever he wears it.
From our 194 runners there were 3 leprechauns, 5 elves, 7 ogres, 1 troll, 19 giants and a handful of other half human breeds. 31 were first timers, 44 recorded new Personal Bests. Representatives of 21 different athletics clubs took part I think we are well represented by giants at Tring due to the might of our hill meaning their beanstalks do not need to be so substantial. We apologise but nobody who is not at least part human can be registered and only one dog or small dragon is allowed per runner and must be kept on a lead. Runners may not ride our cows around the course during the run.
Wizard Richard Murphy, he’s the bloke who competes with Willy Wonka, Richards USP is he owns a chocolate factory where he only employs leprechauns obviously, but his chocolates are big sellers but I digress. [Ed: Young Chris.....Richard's factory makes photocopiers, not chocolate! It's Katie's factory that makes chocolate!!!!! :-)]. Richard became the 21st person to have spent more than 24 hours running at Tring parkrun while the angel of Tring Lorraine Hurford completed her 40th hour running.
Notable amongst our absences were Princess Isobel Bladen who after reigning over our longest ever consecutive streak of parkruns (an unbroken 44 weeks) had to go and visit her summer castle, something about kissing a frog and maybe reigning over a different parkrun for a week or two.
After the tail runner had completed the last yard a selection of our runners retired to our local tavern, The Akeman, for hearty breakfasts, thirst quenching ales, scrumptious cakes & patisseries and the oh so British favourite of a perfectly brewed infusion of tea. Some peculiar people chose coffee.
The runners left gradually into the warm July sunshine happy with another fairytale parkrun with not a death eater, evil witch, zombie or vampire in sight.
See you tomorrow for the best day of the week, parkrun day. #dfyb