R v Wythenshawe parkrun
Wythenshawe parkrun appears before you having pleaded guilty to the offence of drenching the socks of 239 runners the particulars of which are that on the 4th November at Wythenshawe the parkrun team actively encouraged the runners to run twice over ground that was sodden, swampy and boggy.
Before passing sentence I ask you to consider the following mitigation. Of the 239 runners 224 had run at Wythenshawe before and though this does not excuse the abuse of their footwear they may have been less surprised by the drenching. Wythenshawe parkrun refutes the suggestion that the waterlogged course was chosen to soak the tourist from hard paved South Manchester evicted from their home by bonfire preparations. Further I suggest that running can not be said to have been greatly impeded when 15 runners were able to achieve PB’s
It is accepted that clapping and cheering volunteers at every turn urged runners into ever wetter conditions but I suggest that they did also preside over an event largely without rain and plentifully supplied with cake. Credit for this last act of generosity goes to Colin Lord who ran his 100th last week, Jan Williams running his 200th, and Michael Moore (one of the Wythenshawe parkrun pioneers) running his 250th.
The volunteers aiding and abetting this crime were Norma Burgess, Zoe P Carter, Ron Carter, Nick Hamlin, Dan Hart, Andy Holloway, Kate Holloway, Alyson Lamb, Ashley Lindsey, Jennifer Lutton, Nathan Maybury, Sam Mcgrath, Alex Mollard, Laura Przylipiak, Mark Syddall, Margaret Tunney and Jan Williamas.
Wythenshawe parkrun submits that this event could not happen without them.
First round the course was Robert West ,down from the hills of Heaton Park, followed by Kian Lindsey and Matthew Tatton. Amanda Navin was first female (possible with first dog) in advance of Jackie Cordingley and Fiona Cosgrove.
Lastly when deciding upon the punishment for this offence I urge you to allow Wythenshawe parkrun to remain at large in the community. I suggest that should be sentenced to carry out the service of providing a free timed run every week with the promise of one dry run a year.