Huntingdon parkrun 147 (the amateur dramatic production)

RUN REPORT 6 FEB 2016 – You’re bard!
Event #147 - The amateur dramatic production.

Dramatis Personae

Run Director (played by Mr Paul Harris)
Divers marshalls, number checkers, timekeepers, other helpers, and a dog.

ACT I SCENE I – The Run Director’s bedroom, early that morning

R.D. But cripes! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and ‘tis parkrun day.
I must away in haste, before nine o’clock come.
Make it no wonder. If you knew my business,
You would entreat me rather go than stay.
Come, daughter! Hinchingbrooke Park calls, anon!


SCENE 2 – a blasted heath, parkrunners assembled

R.D. Friends, visitors, parkrunners, lend me your ears!
I come to give you instruction upon today’s business.
This day is the forty-seventh and a hundred of Huntingdon parkrun.
We proclaim the valiant deeds of Nicola Williamson,
Who doth volunteer for the five-and-twentieth time this morn,
And of all other volunteers who laugh to scorn
This winter mud and wind, which art so unkind.
They who run this day, and come safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the results are named.
We few, we happy few, we band of parkrunners,
For they today who shed their sweat with us
Shall be our friends, even if they’re a bit whiffy,
And runners in Huntingdon now abed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here
And hold their PBs cheap whiles any speaks
That ran with us this parkrun day.
Now, we go, and it is done, the bell invites us.
Let not thy dog frolic a lead’s length further
And keep thy children within thy sight.

Exeunt, pursued by a tailrunner.

SCENE 3 – the run report writer’s sofa, some days later

R.W. What were these, so wild and wither’d in their attire,
That look not like the inhabitants o’the earth,
And yet were on’t? Ran they so fast,
Over hill, over dale
Through bush, through briar,
Over park, past café,
Through mud, through mire,
Ty Farrer our first finisher and Dean Marshall our second
Achieved not a new PB by the merest margin,
And Michael Hall, being third, gained his.
We cannot say that they stumble that run fast,
But signs of effort, like stars, shall shine
On all deservers. For today, fourteen souls
Did choose to join our merry throng,
And twenty-eight determined that if it were done
When ‘tis done, ‘twere well it were done quickly,
Resulting in the jewels of new PBs,
And dog walkers to visibly think
“Lord, what fools these parkrunners be!”

A great while ago parkrun began
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain
But that’s all one, this parkrun’s done,
And we’ll strive to please you again next week.